Dress Up Your Pet Day

My first piece of advice: Don’t. Do. It. I’ve always found dressing up pets to be degrading at best, and inhumane at worst. I had a childhood friend who always dressed up her dogs and put them in baby strollers and they never looked very happy about it. I thought her parents should’ve totally bought her a Baby Born. I get that some animals might like being dressed up—though I think it would be pretty hard to prove in court!—most would rather be au naturale.

Anyhow, if you insist upon dressing up your animals—and don’t use that excuse, “They’re my babies!” That doesn’t work. Not all babies like to be dressed to begin with; my daughter’s favorite time of the day is still her “Naked Time,” and I used to fight my mother tooth and nail over putting me in a dress as a kid, so that just won’t cut it!—at least make sure to follow these guidelines:

• Don’t dress your animals too tightly. Make sure the clothing fits—buy clothing made for your animal’s size rather than digging out something from an old doll’s wardrobe.
• Keep his mobility in mind. Can he go potty in his sailor suit? Can he walk? If not, he shouldn’t be wearing it.
• As soon as the animal shows signs of distress, remove the clothing. It’s not worth choking him or making him uncomfortable.
• Keep his safety in mind at all times. If you’re planning on using a baby stroller, think first—is he going to make a jump for it? (“It’s not worth it, Precious!”) If so, keep the stroller or wagon in the yard or house rather than somewhere safe like the road.
• Are you sure he even likes being dressed up? If he whimpers, pouts, whines, or simply seems distraught overall, is making him look like a little baby with whiskers really worth the ordeal?
• Consider something more natural that’s still dressy without being constrictive and uncomfortable. Maybe you could buy your pup a cool new collar with a fancy leash to show off instead of a frilly garment. That said, I’m sure Spot would much rather you spent the extra money on some new treats for him—or better yet, the time spent to earn the money for it with him instead. And he’d surely rather have his belly scratched or be chasing sticks rather than be cooped up in a baby stroller.